Well first off, there wouldn't be the internet. See, that's just a fact. And if you didn't see that... ceiling cat did. Ceiling cat sees all... Anyway, getting off topic here - CATS! Just look back in Western history - they're divine beings! So like... go out and pet one for good luck, but be cautious, because the allowance of the number of pets is limited and up to their discretion, yet they feel no need to necessarily inform you of this limit. In the end, it's all worth it in return of their squeaky tenderness... at a time and place of their choosing, of course. Expect to be bit when failing to meet these guidelines, mortals!
And so help them furry gods if food isn't presented on time!!! Don't be a "Baxter's owner." They only remembered Baxter the cat once dinner time had been long past and they were already miles away. "MEOW, NOW!" Although... Baxter did end up becoming the mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska for 20 years, along with other recreations, like hitching rides on garbage trucks, being attacked by dogs, getting shot, falling into deep fryers... and all with no tail and while stilling holding office (more about Mayor Stubbs).
Remember to go out to support and vote for your local cat! "Meow meow meow meow, Meow meow meow meow, ..." *Chanting continues into the night*
When visiting your cat's house as a guest at your home, it's clear that one of your responsibilities is to keep the place tidy. You might wonder - how do table tops become fuzzy so quickly, even if your cat is well-mannered and "hasn't been up there in ages?" Well, have you ever asked yourself, "if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" Ceiling cat knows.